Radschool Association Magazine - Vol 27

Page 6

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Out in the shed with Ted.


Ted McEvoy.

The answer to every man’s dream.


A new nail gun for the do it yourselfer!!


Introducing the newest nail gun, the 16D rapid fire made by Dewalt. It can drive a 16-D nail through a hunk of 4 X 2 at 200 yards. This makes construction a breeze. You can sit back in your favourite out-door chair, relax with a cold one and build a fence. Just get the wife to hold the fence palings in place and when she's ready, take aim and fire off a nail. With the hundred round magazine, you can build the fence with a minimum of effort. And as an added bonus, after a day of fence building with the new Dewalt Rapid fire nail gun, the wife will not ask you to fix or build anything ever again.



Printer Ink.


If you’ve got an ink jet colour printer, one which has those super expensive individual ink reservoirs that have a bit of circuitry built into them, then you might be wasting a pile of money by throwing out some valuable ink. To understand why, we must first understand how the ink cartridge works.


An inkjet printer is any printer that fires extremely small droplets of ink onto paper to create an image. If you've ever looked closely at a piece of paper that has come out of an ink jet printer, you know that:


  • The dots are extremely small (between 10 and 30 dots per millimeter).

  • The dots are positioned very precisely.

  • In colour printers, the dots have multiple colors.


Manufacturers have incorporated part of the printer’s actual print head into the cartridge itself. They believe that since the print head is the part of the printer that is most likely to wear out, replacing it every time you replace the cartridge increases the life of the printer. The cartridge fits into the main print head which is moved across the paper and which ‘squirts’ small amounts of ink onto the paper.


A small but sophisticated piece of circuitry is built into the printer itself and this controls the movement of the print head as well as storing then decoding the information sent to the printer from the computer.


There are two main inkjet technologies currently used by printer manufacturers:


Thermal bubble – This technology is by far the most popular and is used by manufacturers such as Canon and Hewlett Packard and is commonly referred to as bubble jet. In a thermal bubble inkjet printer, tiny resistors create heat, and this heat vaporizes ink to create a bubble. As the bubble expands, some of the ink is pushed out of a nozzle onto the paper.


When the bubble "pops" (collapses), a vacuum is created. This pulls more ink into the print head from the cartridge ready for the next ‘print’. A typical bubble jet print head has 300 or 600 tiny nozzles which are miniscule in size, each being about 70% the diameter of a human hair and all of them can fire a droplet simultaneously.


Piezoelectric – This technology was patented by Epson and uses piezo crystals. A crystal is located at the back of the ink reservoir of each nozzle. The crystal receives a tiny electric charge that causes it to vibrate. When the crystal vibrates inward, it forces a tiny amount of ink out of the nozzle. When it vibrates out, it pulls some more ink into the reservoir to replace the ink sprayed out.


Because of the two different technologies, you must be careful when and if you fill your own cartridges, Different manufacturers use different inks. For example, thermal bubble inkjets need ink that is more stable at higher temperatures than piezoelectric printers. The use of an incorrect ink can damage your printer.


No matter which type of machine you have, if the ink cartridge has some built in circuitry, then odds on you are throwing out valuable ink each time you replace the cartridge. The circuitry built into the reservoir keeps track of ink usage, and even though the cartridge might not be empty, the circuitry can get it wrong and when it does it tells the printer "I'm empty" so that colour does not print.


Click HERE to see why that is and to see what to do to stop wasting money.


Two old blokes, one 80 and the other 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies." So, on the way home, 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.  He said, "Do you have any Rye bread?" She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it.  Would you like some?" He said, "I want 5 loaves please." She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves ... by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be a hard as a brick." He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this stuff except me."





For all you bachelor type bods who have a sweet tooth, try this….

You'll need:-


4 tablespoons flour

4 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons cocoa

1 egg

3 tablespoons milk

3 tablespoons oil

3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)

a small splash of vanilla extract

1 large coffee mug



Spray the insides of a large mug with cooking oil, add dry ingredients and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again. Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at full power.


The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed! Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate. EAT!


My older friend surprised us all and fell pregnant and gave birth to a lovely healthy baby boy, so I went to visit. After being there a little while I said, 'May I see the new baby?'  'Not yet,' She said,  'I'll make coffee and we can sit and talk for a while first.'


Thirty minutes passed, and so I asked again, 'Can I see the new baby now?' 'No, not yet,' She said. After another 10 or so minutes, I asked again, 'Can I see the baby now?' 'No, not yet,' replied my friend.


Growing a bit impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?' 'When he cries!' she told me. 'When he cries?' I said. 'Why do I have to wait until he cries?'





World War 2


If you’re a little unsure as to what actually happened during World War 2, which countries were over-run by Germany, and in which order, and then, where and when did the Allies start to hit back – if so, then click on the photo at right and you’ll find out. It’s a big file so allow a couple of minutes for it to load.


You’ll need Power Point and sound. Click your left mouse button to advance each slide.


Someone has gone to a lot of trouble.



Wings of Love.


We were recently sent one of the raw sound demo's Francis Edwards has sent to a few recording studios requesting a quote to produce, record and master an 18 song album for 'Veteran Soul' - The Vietnam Veterans' Community Choir!


The single demo is raw - incomplete and a bare bones attempt at giving serious studios an overview of what the Vietnam Vet community is looking for and a chance to legitimately pitch for our business - DVA Grant money that is. Francis and his team have an 18 song CD they want to record and release to let all of Australia know that the Vietnam Vet community has a lot to offer still. 


They need your help in supporting what we are all trying to achieve on behalf of every Vietnam Veteran and that is: “To have a voice that shows Australia that we are not dead and that we care for the world our that grandkids get to grow up in”. We feel our first focus should be on doing our bit to beat the homeless people situation in this country of ours.


You can download the demo song HERE.


If you feel that this is worth doing (forming a veteran’s choir to sing out in support of all of Australia's downtrodden and our wishes for tomorrow), then please send an email to Marilyn and say so!  Marilyn will in turn send it on to Alan Griffin.


A very shapely blonde goes to her local pet shop in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about, she notices a box full of live frogs.

The sign says: 
'SEX FROGS'   Only $20 each!   Comes with 'complete' instructions.

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!'

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions! The blonde nods, grabs the box and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully.


1.         Take a shower.

2.         Splash on some nice perfume.

3.         Slip into a very sexy nightie.

4.         Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She does EXACTLY what is specified and quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . .. . NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.'

So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'

The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and says:


'LISTEN TO ME!!  I'm only going to show you how to do this ONE ... MORE ... TIME!!!'



Marine Sergeant’s Press interview.


For the few of you who don’t know, R. Lee Ermey is the host of The History Channel's "Mail Call" and he also played the part of the Drill Instructor in the movie, "Full Metal Jacket." He is a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant and a very plain speaker.


At his first press conference, the main topic of discussion is a Marine in Iraq who shot an Iraqi insurgent to death.


We pick up as the reporter asks about "how this potential war crime will affect our image in the world":


Ermey: "What kind of a pansy-assed question is that?"


Reporter 1: "Well I think...."


Ermey: "Think, fancy boy??  Get this through that septic tank on top of your shoulders, moron: I don't give a damn what you think, do you understand me? That marine shot an enemy combatant, shithead; so get your head out of your ass and deal with it before I make you my own personal pin cushion!  Next question: "you in the blue suit."



Reporter 2: Don't you think that the world's opinion of our operations is important?


Ermey: "Oh sure! You don't know the times I have cried myself to sleep worrying about what some goddamned French pansy thinks! Oh the days I have had to weep because some shit eating terrorist scumbag might be mad at us, because we went into whatever god for-saken hole in the shit that he lives in and killed him. What the hell kind of dumbass question is that, you Peter-puffing jackass? We are the United States of America, and when you attack us, we are going to come to your house and blow your stinking camel-licking carcass into pieces so small we will be able to bury your sorry ass in a thimble!


Yeah, I know what you are thinking. You are probably afraid, thinking that I have such an "extreme" attitude and that I need to be more "sensitive" to other people's feelings. Well let me tell you something you pole-smoking pansy! I don't give two shits what you or anybody else thinks! This is a damn war, and if you can't handle that, then you should go home and suck on mamma's tit! Do you hear me you runt? Now get the hell out of my press room before I go crazy and beat the living shit out of you!


Next question: "you with the ugly-assed tie. Look at that thing! It is hideous!"



Reporter 3: " Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by.."


Ermey: "Freedom? What in blue hell do you know about freedom? I have sweated my ass off in jungles, while being shot at for this nation! What in the hell have you done you little shit-sucking weasel? When was the last time you put your ass on the line for anything? And yet you have the unmitigated temerity to show up here and Monday-morning quarterback the actions of a brave marine, who was defending himself and his unit from an attack by some murderous al-queda sympathizer! You wanna know what I am concerned about, numb-nuts? I am concerned about a bunch of grabasstic, organized morons with cameras and microphones doing their best to portray our brave men and women as war criminals! I am concerned about chicken-shit pansies that want us to negotiate with terrorists and whine about their piss-ant "freedoms"!



Reporter 3: "I ..."


Ermey: "Did you have a big bowl of stupid for breakfast this morning, numbnuts? I don't want to hear another word out of that commie cry hole in that shit-pile you call a head! ...and that goes triple for the rest of you pansy-assed morons! Now get the hell out of my press room before I shove my boot so far up your ass that you choke to death on my shoelaces!"


Unfortunately, the whole thing is made up, it never happened – but it should have……..






If you’re a mobile phone user, and who isn’t these days, did you know that from next month all mobile phone numbers go public. Mobile phone numbers are being released to telemarketing companies and you could start to receive telemarketing calls, unless you do something about it.


Here is the link where you can enter your mobile and your land line numbers which, for the next three years, will put an end to telemarketing calls.  https://www.donotcall.gov.au/ 

The latest in 'hands free"



Bored old ladies in cars.


It must be my weird sense of humour, but I find this extraordinarily funny - click HERE




Stupid question


Katie Couric, (right) who is a reporter with CBS in the USA, while interviewing a Marine sniper, asked one of the all time most stupidest ever asked dumbest questions. She asked:-


“What do you feel... when you shoot a Terrorist?"


The Marine shrugged and replied,       “A slight recoil".


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